Now that you know

F you have just learned your son or daughter is gay or lesbian, you may be seeking support. You may be experiencing many emotions--shock, denial, anger, guilt, grief, depression, loneliness, isolation. Perhaps you are unaware there are other parents just like yourself--parents who were also disheartened when they first learned of their child's homosexuality.

We are here to help

RESBYTERIAN Parents of Gays and Lesbians (PPGL) is a support group for parents like you. As we care for and nurture one another, we acquire a new perspective toward homosexuality and toward our gay and lesbian children. We begin to strengthen the bond of understanding and affection for our children. And we begin to move beyond the initial anguish , fear, and doubt that plague us from the first moments of revelation.

"I felt as if the pain would never go away after my 17-year-old told me she was lesbian. That was twelve years ago. Even after all those years, it's still difficult for me to accept her homosexuality even though she's now a successful attorney in Minneapolis. The caring people in this support group are helping me emerge from depression and despair to feelings of hope and joy -- for her and her life."

Beginning anew

OR some of us, the knowledge of our child's sexual orientation came years ago. For others, the realization is new, and the feelings are still raw and fragile. No matter when we became aware, we, like the butterfly are transformed as we give and receive care, understanding, and acceptance in community with other parents.

Compassion, care, concern

RESBYTERIAN Parents of Gays and Lesbians is not a political activist, therapy, or counseling group. We do not advise, instruct, or tell one another what to do. Our mission is simply to care for one another. In a small group setting, we share our stories, feelings, experiences, and concerns. For some of us, it takes time to discard the misconceptions we have held about homosexuality. But with loving and learning attitudes, we begin to gain an understanding of our lesbian and gay children.

Our meeting structure

ACH PPGL meeting includes prayer, devotional or scriptural readings, an overview of the guidelines, and a review of the Statement of Purpose. Members may then choose to share their feelings with the group. At no time are parents encouraged to express themselves openly if they are uncomfortable doing so. Just listening to others can be a source of comfort.

An affirmation of love

"When our 20-year-old son told us he was gay, our perfect world crumbled. We had never been strong advocates of support groups, but suddenly we needed to share our burden with other Christian parents who were already walking the path we were destined to follow."

OME parents may be hesitant to visit a PPGL group. Taking that first step is sometimes difficult. It may help to know we are all members for the same reason. We share a common bond of love, support, respect, and affirmation for our sons and daughters -- an affirmation stemming from our knowledge of God's creation of -- and love for -- all children.

Some things to consider

	Privacy, confidentiality When you attend a support group, you will always find a warm, safe, confidential environment in which to share your story and concerns. A primary facet of PPGL support groups is knowing your family's privacy will be maintained.
	Choosing when to share Becoming aware that your child is gay or lesbian can be a devastating experience. Becoming comfortable sharing your story in a group setting takes time. Only you will determine when, or if, that time comes.
	Telephone support While the loving nurture and spiritual emphasis of a PPGL support group is paramount in permitting healing to begin, we understand some individuals would prefer to contact us by telephone. We encourage your calls. Should you find it necessary to leave a message, please indicate any call-return instructions.

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